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tv   The Daily Show With Jon Stewart  Comedy Central  February 27, 2015 6:24pm-6:58pm PST

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>> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york this is "the daily show" with jon stewart. ( cheers and applause ) captioning sponsored by comedy central >> jon: welcome to "the daily show." my name is jon stewart. olivia wilde will be joining us from "the lazarus effect." first, hsbc, one of britain's largest financial institution a spot of sticky pudding a couple of years ago after the bank was
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caught laundering nearly $1 billion in drug money. you heard the gasp. ( laughter ) what? what's that? and like in most cases of drug cartel money laundering, the perpetrators were sent straight to pay a fine. ( laughter ) case closed. >> british bank hsbc is under fire again. the company's swiss banking arm is accused of helping clients hide billions of assets from international tax authorities before 2007. >> jon: still breaking the ( bleep ) laws. i know you're british but "keep calm and carry on" wasn't meant for major financial crimes. of think you can hide in switzerland? you should have known, where there's cheese there's a rat. >> none of this would have surfaced had it not been for this man, herve falciani, an
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hsbc computer security specialist at the geneva, switzerland branch. ( laughter ) >> jon: falciani is a computer specialist. with a face like that, he'll have to install a firewall, in my heart. but good on him! the whistleblower falciani has done the world economy a great service. how many medals of honors and keys to the city did they give this gentleman? >> swiss authorities charged him with espionage. he ended up in a spanish jail for five months fighting extradition and made court appearances wearing disguises saying she feared hear his life. ( laughter ). >> jon: judging from that disguise you should be charged with sabotage! you gotta go with the beasties.
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that's the disguise you should go with there, the one that makes you look almost exactly like yourself? ( laughter ) even the bikers who wanted fruit on their ihop pancakes put in more effort to their disguises. what was this guy thinking? i feel bad for falciani. his heart was in the right place but his whistle blowing was in the wrong one. if he tried that america, things might have turned out differently. >> a pennsylvania accountant turned in his employer for failing to pay taxes. the accountant has been award nearly a quarter of the $20 million recovered. >> a former country wide executive is collecting a $57 million award. >> a whistleblower is receiving $63 million for insider information about bad behavior in jpmorgan's mortgage division. >> jon: in american finance snitches don't get. snitches get riches, bitchs. i know why? because in america, we respect and reward those with the courage to say, "hey, what's
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going on here is wrong. i'm going to tick a risk for the people must know of this. >> thomas drake, who thought taxpayer money was being wasted on useless intelligence gathering projects tried to get the word out. >> jon: gotta love the drake. n.s.a. government worker sees bureaucratic waste, fraud, and abuse, threatening our national security and he ploaz the whistle on them. how much reward money did he get? >> as a result, he's been charged under the espionage act. ( laughter ). >> jon: ( bleep )? i assume you mean the rarely enforced provision of the espionage act that involves rewarding whistleblowers with millions of dollars and unlimited blow jobs. ( laughter ) is there-- by the way, is there anything that rewards you with that in the world? other than playing in a band.
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maybe i'm misunderstanding what sinister foreign power did this guy sell our classified wasteful spending secrets to. >> blake contacted "baltimore sun" reporter siobhan gorman. did you ever communicate classified information to siobhan gorman? >> not once ever, it was all unclassified, period. >> jon: okay, might have been unclassified but that doesn't mean the government wanted you to tell people about it. that's basic brocode--boros before exposed. continued waistful spending of taxpayer dollar that could threaten our national security. to be fair, the government didn't trot drake off to on the trumped up charges. they just reuned him. >> all the gk i hthe requirement i had, is gone. i ended up finding work, initially part time, then full time at an apple store. >> jon: really an apple store isn't a terrible place to
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work. at least neez a place that's transparent! and drake-- oh, snap! no, you didn't. and drake, drake's is far from the only case of the epsage act-based silencing. >> the obama administration is using the espionage act more aggressively than all other administrations before when it comes to going after people who leak national security secrets to the press. >> jon: of the 11 times in our entire history that the espionage act has been used against government workers, sharing information with journalists, seven of them have been under this presidency including stephen kim who received a 13-month sentence for telling a reporter north korea was considering a nuclear test. it was actually the snapple fact on my lemon iced tea. ( laughter ) i just wish we had some sort of
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official agency to protect whistleblowers from this kind of retaliation. >> there's a federal agency to protect whistleblowers whistleblowers from retaliation. >> an investigator from the osha whistleblower office now a whistleblower himself. >> jon: can we at least assume this do-gooding gentleman whose job is to help whibs avoid punishment will be awarded? >> he has been work as a whistleblower investigator for five years. he faced discipline for giving whistleblower information about how he thought their cases were his mishandled. >> i'm assuming as soon as you broadcast anything i'll be fired. >> he can appeal his case to the bureau of whistleblower protection protecting whistleblowers. we'll be right back. blue shirt: with an intel processor inside these 2-in-1s are powerful enough to be a laptop and a tablet. so it's the best of both worlds. boy: hey dragon, how do i make a frittata?
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( cheers and applause ) >> jon: welcome back. now at times i have to tell you, i think our economy seems based on the theory that if the rich get richer-- ( laughter ) and life goes on. apparently, one key group has been forgotten in that equation. hasan minhaj files this report. >> building inequality-- it's one of the most important economic issues of our time and it may be worse than you think. >> in the last two, three decades, we've seen really striking increase in wealth inequality in america. this new study shows that within
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the top 1%, there is very-- very very wide inequality. >> what's happening to the 1%? >> there's a growing wealth gap within the millionaire population. >> dun-dun, indeed. according to a recent study the insanely rich people are leaving behind the lowly average, regular rich people. >> they need our help right? >> no. the relative position of multi-millionaire families by comparison to billionaire families is not the biggest problem facing the u.s. today. >> you're turning your back on the everyday millionaire. they're people just like me and you. do you understand what i'm saying? >> if what you're suggesting is multi-millionaires are people, i'm forced to gree grae with you. >> all we would have to do is create a system where the normal, everyday millionaire can now be a part of the elite 1% of the 1%. >> uh-huh. so you're worried about that gap? >> uh-huh. >> right. nobody else is worried about that gap. >> right. no one's concerned about them. they're voiceless.
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ask that's the saddest part. sad and shocking because the signs are everywhere. >> tearing down megamansions for the new gigamansions. >> and just listen to luxury yacht dealer ralph navarro. >> this is our 151 delta marine and this is what you call the rolls royce of the yachting industry. everything 130 feet and up is moving pretty quickly nowadays. >> and then he offered to show me what regular, average millionaires are forced to cruise around in. so this boat is going to take us to the bigger boat, right? >> no, this is the boat. >> what? >> what's wrong with it? >> everything ralph. what floor is the cocaine floor? >> there is no cocaine on these boats. >> it was heartbreaking, but fortunately, everyday average millionaires like morris pearl are fighting to do away with wealth inequality. >> i'm asking for fair taxes with those who have more pay more, those who have less pay
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less. >> what? but don't you need more money? >> no i don't. i do not need more money. >> if we give the.01% tax breaks, they'll spend money which will then trickle down to you guys. >> no. it won't trickle down. making rich people richer does not help make poor people-- >> what about squirt-up economics. >> what is squirt-up economics? >> i'm going to show you with a visual aid. this ketchup packet represents the poor and the middle class. if you just squeeze the poor squirting, squirting capital up to the millionaires. >> yeah that's true. that's been happening. >> you just keep squeezing them through different tax initiatives eventually that wealth will trickle-- you just squeeze them for everything they're worth. >> we've tried that since the ronald reagan days, and it hasn't worked. >> so he's not on board with
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tried-and-true financial solutions but at least he does have one good idea. >> we think that raising minimum wage as the president advocates, from $7.75 an hour to $10.10 will be a start. >> that's it. it was time to make this right. we're just asking for a fair and reasonable wage of $13.75 "k" an hour. >> "k," 13,000? >> yes. >> is this a joke? >> no, that's serious. >> if you expect me or anybody else like me and my wife to join that. >> there are poor millionaires, millionaires with just an "m." >> it's just a thing. >> no, it's not a thing. an everyday investment banker and everyday corporate attorney is it too much to ask for a gardner that speaks english? while measures like this can help real change won't come until we get at the true heart of the problem-- are peopling making money money or are their penises just getting smaller? >> i think in general people are just becoming richer. >> and penis size is generally
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staying the same? >> i have no idea about that. >> jon: hasan minhaj. we'll be right back. you can call me shallow... but, i have a wandering eye. i mean, come on. national gives me the control to choose any car in the aisle i want. i could choose you... or i could choose her if i like her more. and i do. oh, the silent treatment. real mature. so you wanna get out of here? go national. go like a pro. dad like, how many more weeks are you going to be using my car? until my insurance claim goes through this is our car. mr. parker, my parents have allstate. they have this claim satisfaction guarantee. really? their claim experience is fast fair hassle-free or they get their, like, money back. saraaah!!! come to prom with me!! um, no.
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sauce it's creamy sri-rah... slur-rah cha... whatever it's called, it's awesome sauce. ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: welcome back. my guest a tremendous actress. her new movie is called "the lazarus effect." >> when i died, i went somewhere. i was there. i could hear the people. they were stuck. >> that was a dream. it's a traumatic memory from your childhood. it's not real. >> that's what i thought. i couldn't wake up. i was stuck. it was endless. i tried. it went on and on and every day i was there it was the same over and over, every single day-- >> zoe, you were gone for less than an hour. you were right here. >> you don't understand. it's been years. i've been in there for years. >> jon: i really don't think he understands. ( laughter ) welcome back to the program olivia wilde. ( cheers and applause )
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hello! >> hello. >> jon: i think my chair went down. how are you doing? >> i'm good. did that clip feel like the story of your life and your career? >> >> jon: very much so. >> it's been years! >> jon: i thought it was a dream! this film is very-- look, i'm going to tell you the truth. >> all right. >> i don't scare easy. i'm a hugely courageous individual. >> yes. >> jon: i was-- i was a little bit scared. >> yeah, that's good! my goal was just to scare you. >> jon: is that true? is that why my name is mentioned all the time in the film? >> yeah. >> jon: when you get a screener from a film company your name is on it. but i never had that before with a horror movie so people are like every now and again my name will come up. ( laughter ) >> this is for you jon stewart.
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>> jon: right. what was the-- "the ring?" is that where if you watch something and six days later-- >> yeah right. it haunts you. if you view vhs you will die soon. >> jon: that would actually be a great horror movie because that would mean all of our grandparents are gone, them and people with answering machines. but are you a particular genre fan? is this just something you wanted to try? where are you at? >> i wanted to try this. i love this genre when it's done really well. i lot "the shining." i love good ones. but i never wanted to be the girl running away from the danger. >> jon: you're not that person. >> no, at one point i'm hanging upside down from the ceiling like a bat at one point screaming and breaking all the blood vessels in my face. and we had no money so we were doing everything for real. it wasn't like we did any after-effects our something. >> jon: you broke all your
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blood vessels? >> yeah. >> jon: don't they have a stunt face? >> no stunt face. i did all my own facing. >> jon: really! >> yeah. >> jon: you don't see that a lot. and mark duplass i like him. >> we have donald glover, with evan peters who is on "american horror stories." so he's kind of more familiar with the genre. it was a group of kind of comedians and actors and dramatic people. and i think that makes it a little more textured. >> jon: and otherwise, your baby is now 12? >> 10 months. >> jon: or 10 months. i don't keep up with the gossip. >> you really should. it's the news. >> jon: that is true. and a ball? it's a ball. >> that's right. it is so much fun. it's amazing. he's wonderful. >> jon: what's nice about for my kids as a parent you can leave them for days. >> i know. put them in the crib. put, like a sandwich.
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>> jon: that is such a good idea. >> you could leave a sandwich. >> jon: i'm going to do that next time. >> don't leave them hungry. >> jon: no! god! i'm so stupid! i'll leave a little water. >> it is so funny how it changes your daily life. there's no such thing as a leisurely brunch anymore. you used to go out and have brunch and maybe take an hour and a half to eat. now it's you hold him. you hold him. i just want to eat this one thing. it's a balancing act. >> jon: it feels like what we did-- our kids are older now so it's a little easier but when it's young like that, it's like when you're playing-- what were those old games, tick tick-tick-tick-boom. you didn't at the present time to explode. because you know they're going to go off at some point. >> it's inevitable. >> jon: would you like to see kids, animals the whole deal? what are we dealing with? >> yeah, yeah, i want the whole deal. >> jon: are you going earth mother? >> i want whole farm. i think-- i think-- i'm part of
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three. he's part of three. i like the idea of that. but if i can keep one alive-- ( laughter ) ( applause ) i'll be really proud of myself. you know it's-- i was doing reshoots for this movie-- actually, the clip you just saw, the reason i'm over-acting so much -- >> stop it. >> is because i was eight and a half months pregnant. >> jon: in that? >> in that. and i was just so excited to be working. i'm like i'm going to act the ( bleep ) out of this scene. ( laughter ) i was so happy. i was like here i go. got it! >> jon: that's awesome. >> and the reason it's kind of framed oddly is because there's this enormous belly which is a whole other horror movie. i mean the look of it with the lenses -- >> there is something about that. i remember seeing "rosemary's baby" and thinking this is met fork. for a woman to have-- like, that is a process that must-- it's a 10-pound-- not even just sitting there like i had a cheese steak it's moving. >> it's moving. it is really insane and
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terrifying. yeah. i recommend it. >> jon: it's not like a plate of nachos. i always felt when my wife was pregnant, i said i know what that's like. i have eaten a nacho and a pregnant. >> my favorite show i watched when i was pregnant is, "i didn't know i was pregnant." >> jon: is that on the dumb people network? ( laughter ) how do they not know they're pregnant? i don't even understand that. >> they don't know and my favorite episode is called, are "there's a baby in my sweat pants." ( laughter ) >> jon: don't give away the ending! "there's a baby in my sweat pants." >> and i looked down and there's a baby in my sweat pants. i i was like i hope that's how my labor goes. mine was the opposite of that. >> jon: "there's a baby in my sweat pants." >> yeah. some people think it's gas and they're pregnant and they have a baby. ( laughter )
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>> jon: all right, we're going to go. here's why we're going to go right now. i'm going to go rent some dvds of this show. >> yes, please do. >> jon: i am going to do that. "the lazarus effect," it's in the theaters on fridays. olivia wilde, everybody. >> thank you. ( cheers and applause ) can a truck change how people feel about a guy? we talked to real people, not actors. we showed them two pictures of the same guy in the same location. the only difference... the vehicle behind him. if this guy could grow facial hair what would he grow? just a soul patch. the truck guy. mutton chops. show me how truck guy would shake my hand. oh!! you know you want a truck. the all new chevy colorado. motor trend's 2015 truck of the year. ♪
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( cheers and applause ) >> jon: all right, everybody. that is our show. here it is, your moment of zen. >> officials in india want to set the record straight. >> stewart! hey, stewart, look, i've heard every single thing that you've been saying about me. i hope my friend, that you are prepared for a world of hurt. >> jon: w.w.e. superstar and poster boy from the authority, seth rollins. how did you interrupt my moment of zen! how! >> please, please stewart. you know me better than that. i can do anything i want. i am all powerful. >> settle down, you're not all powerful. minds your manners. i've got a little wrestling in
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my background as well. i've got a little wrestling. a little jib eddie-jab. he's right behind me isn't he? is he right behind me. >> really, really tough talk, stewart. why don't you shut your mouth and bring it pal, huh! >> jon: let me just say this-- a little beard conditioner would go a long way-- and let me tell you this, rollins, i will bring it! although unfortunately, i don't have it with me right now. so i will perhaps look for it and meet you somewhere at a later date like a gentleman. >> well, you know, what? it's funny you would mention that because i actually came here to give you an invitation. >> jon: really? >> yes. >> how about you show up this monday night on "monday night raw" at the prudential story. have you got the guts stewart? >> jon: i have more than the-- oh, i think i just pulled
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something when i turned on there. but i do have the guts-- oh, you're taller than i thought. on the television it looks like he's-- all right,ed with rol everybody, we'll be back next week, unless i get crushed! ♪ i'm going down to south park, gonna have myself a time ♪ ♪ friendly faces everywhere ♪ ♪ humble folks without temptation ♪ ♪ going down to south park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪ ♪ ample parking day or night ♪ ♪ people spouting "howdy, neighbor" ♪ ♪ heading on up to south park gonna see if i can't unwind ♪ ♪ mrph rmhmhm rm! mrph rmhmhm rm! ♪ ♪ come on down to south park and meet some friends of mine ♪ come on, throw the football, ike! no-oh-dado. dude, you're not gonna believe what cartman has! hepatitis "b"? no, dick. four tickets, 28th row for the raging pussies.

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